Tomorrow is New Years Day and with comes what would have been my Grandmother’s 96th birthday. Nana lived 94 and a half short years filled with 4 children, 11 grand children and now 6 great grandchildren with one on the way. She is only one woman but her shadow is cast long and wide across three generations. Although she has been involved, influenced and affect so many lives, I can speak only through my eyes. I’ll try to keep them dry.
By now you can probably guess Nana was more than just a grandmother. Sure, she did the usual grandmother stuff. She would powder our bottoms after a bath and she’d even loss her temper and get “cross” with us. But she’d also sit and talk in length about the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins and Patriots with us as if she was one of the guys. In many ways Nana was one of the guys. She didn’t put up with any of our crap. She’d occasionally surprised us with a well timed put down that put us right in our place, or if a bully (or one of my brothers) were to bother me Nana would always ask “Well why the hell you let that knucklehead get away with it?”
Nana had kept her hair the same fiery red years after nature decided against it. A sign of vitality, the hair color captured her essence, her ambition and more importantly her spark. This subtle act was one of the many unspoken lessons Nana would become famous for. She showed us it’s okay to be your own person and not let anyone or anything define who you are. “You are your decision” she taught us. Her hair eventually faded to a pure white, signifying the angel we all knew she was.
Along with the importance of faith, family and of course math, the message Nana emphasized the most was to fight. I know it would have been near impossible to disappoint her but if I ever gave up or quit I know I would let her down. This was demonstrated the multiple times Nana visited Melrose-Wakefield Hospital with what she would call an “inconvenience” of another heart surgery. Her strength and fear of losing was apparent in every breath she took and inspired everyone she ever spoke to. She was who she wanted to be, not what society’s definition of an elderly grandmother was. One Easter Sunday less than ten years ago Nana was sitting in a rocking chair with her wine glass empty. I asked her if I could get her some more. Nana winked as a smile of menacing school girl grew on her face then took off across the house to refill her own glass. This is who Nana is. A fighter.
Every fight has to come to an end though. And only one person could call this fight. It wasn’t going to be a doctor and it certainly wasn’t going to be a Devine decision. Nana was going to go when she wanted to. She was the Matriarch of what she considered to be the greatest family, and this family was great only because of her. She did her job. She raised all of us in the same way with the same beliefs. There was nothing more she could have done. The round ended on June 15th, 2008 but fight goes on every day. Nana lives in the hearts of us all. Every time I think about maybe taking the easy way and quitting I feel Nana’s disappointment and that’s enough to drive me to the finish line. I fight everyday and I fight for Nana.
I love you, Nana. Happy Birthday.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
A First Lesson Learned
I took my son to the doctors office today for his four month physical. It went as expected. The nurse measured his length, weighed him and the rest of the standard protocol which included three vaccine shots. Oblivious to the upcoming piercings he was about to receive, my son was really enjoying the trip to the cold room with florescent lighting that contained a bed with paper sheets and animal wall paper. But when that moment came, the nurse re-entered with a steel tray loaded with syringes and a not so sympathetic smile. After my wife decided to stay in the room for the event, we both held down the infant while he bellowed as the unfamiliar needle forcefully penetrated the skin on his thigh and then again as the plunger pushed down releasing then medicine into his body.
The yelling didn’t stop and the only words of advised I could offer to my son was “Its okay to cry, you don’t have to like it but we need to do this.” The injections were completed in a blink of an eye however the howling lasted for what seemed like an entire hibernation. Nothing would stifle his cries; we changed him, tried to feed him and even sang as we cradled him. Eventually, the cries stopped. He was able to put himself to sleep and as I fastened him in his car seat the four month old was the perfect picture of peaceful slumber.
Less than a half a year old and my son learned one of the most important lessons in life, one which many of us often forget as adults. Every day and around every corner there will be challenges waiting for us. Some we are anticipating and others seem to blind side us but regardless of the variety it is a necessity to meet these trials head on in order to move forward. Most of these challenges will test our wills and our wits and almost all will be easier to avoid completely and as we all know, no rain no rainbow.
How many cold needles have we faced in our lives? How many this week? How many excuses have we come up with? We actually find the true objective is not attacking the situation rather discovering the cleverest way to dodge it. The simplest technique is to merely tackle it. This is what my son did and he received the greatest of rewards, it was over. He didn’t have to fear the shots anymore. Instead he enjoyed a deep, peaceful and sound sleep.
We all come across these challenges, burdens, ordeals or whatever you want to call them. For the most part we exercise the same cowardly approach. But whether it’s trying to breakup with your significant other, having “the talk” with your teenage kid, walking away from a job you know that is holding you back from your true potential or simply receiving a flu shot, its not going to go away until it gets done.
I looked upon my child today and saw the most courageous little man I know. He didn’t take pleasure with the injections and he wasn’t shy about letting everyone within earshot know, but he did it. No regrets and I’m proud of him.
The yelling didn’t stop and the only words of advised I could offer to my son was “Its okay to cry, you don’t have to like it but we need to do this.” The injections were completed in a blink of an eye however the howling lasted for what seemed like an entire hibernation. Nothing would stifle his cries; we changed him, tried to feed him and even sang as we cradled him. Eventually, the cries stopped. He was able to put himself to sleep and as I fastened him in his car seat the four month old was the perfect picture of peaceful slumber.
Less than a half a year old and my son learned one of the most important lessons in life, one which many of us often forget as adults. Every day and around every corner there will be challenges waiting for us. Some we are anticipating and others seem to blind side us but regardless of the variety it is a necessity to meet these trials head on in order to move forward. Most of these challenges will test our wills and our wits and almost all will be easier to avoid completely and as we all know, no rain no rainbow.
How many cold needles have we faced in our lives? How many this week? How many excuses have we come up with? We actually find the true objective is not attacking the situation rather discovering the cleverest way to dodge it. The simplest technique is to merely tackle it. This is what my son did and he received the greatest of rewards, it was over. He didn’t have to fear the shots anymore. Instead he enjoyed a deep, peaceful and sound sleep.
We all come across these challenges, burdens, ordeals or whatever you want to call them. For the most part we exercise the same cowardly approach. But whether it’s trying to breakup with your significant other, having “the talk” with your teenage kid, walking away from a job you know that is holding you back from your true potential or simply receiving a flu shot, its not going to go away until it gets done.
I looked upon my child today and saw the most courageous little man I know. He didn’t take pleasure with the injections and he wasn’t shy about letting everyone within earshot know, but he did it. No regrets and I’m proud of him.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Resolutions, At last!
As another year comes to an end we enter a state of reflection. The media will remind us of the Top Stories from the past 12 months as we will relive the events that made us laugh and cry. The memories of the ones chosen to leave this world will flood us once more. When we’re done with the “remember when” we will silently turn to ourselves and judge asking what we did to better our lives and those around us. And instead of concentrating on the inevitable disappointment of mediocrity we will pride ourselves on our families and their health. There is nothing wrong with celebrating life but we know there is more we can accomplish. We become inspired to better our situation and place in life. We promise we will quit whatever vice it is that grips us. We pledge to eat healthier and go to the gym to lose those pesky 15 pounds. Whatever task it is we vow to accomplish we do it with the most sincere of intensions but then that year closes and we are faced with the sad truth that we didn’t come close to realizing our resolutions.
Its not a question of positioning ourselves for disappointment or setting our goals out of reach, rather the lack of a constant reminder that renders us unsuccessful. We often find that January is the most hectic month for this reason. Our promises are fresh on our mind as we pursue our personal victories. The spin classes are overcrowded, sales for non-smoking aids spike as gambling and consumption of alcohol wane. I would like to tell you these trends continue throughout the year but I don’t want to lie to you. It seems that a meeting always pops up or its parent teacher conference or next week’s deadline got pushed up to tomorrow so we re-prioritize and our resolutions slide further down the “To-Do” list. We justify this with one phrase, life happens.
We trick ourselves into thinking its okay since we have the whole year to achieve our goals. It shouldn’t be that hard. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I’ll get back on track. Sounds good enough, we mean well. Just one problem with that. There are 364 tomorrows in a year. 364 chances to either attack your goal or let it slip away. So how do we end this cycle of complaisant behavior?
I believe it was Coach Wooden who said “failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” You wouldn’t go to a sales meeting without numbers from the previous quarter the same way your kid’s teacher wouldn’t go into the classroom without a lesson plan for that week, month or even semester. We don’t value our personal lives any less than our professional lives but we seem to be a bit more organized in the latter. Well, let’s do something radical. I suggest we blur that line, bring our work organization into our everyday lives. We’ll keep the New Year’s Resolutions as big picture but break it down to weekly goals. This will keep things fresh and constantly on the forefront of your minds and almost guarantees that you’ll crush your resolution. If you aim to finish one book by the end of the year, break it down to a chapter a week. Unless the book is 53 chapters you’ll accomplish the goal. You resolve to eat better? Simply add two more servings of veggies a day. How about the gym? Instead of shooting for a loss of 10 lbs see if you can make it in at least 2 days a week.
There’s no need to intimidate yourself with a task that takes a year to conquer, instead motivate yourself with weekly or daily check points. Stick to a simple plan and always tell yourself to “make the effort.” New Year’s resolutions aren’t supposed to be chores with a deadline that prove to be embarrassments rather a positive journey with one final outcome, you feeling good about you! Happy New Year, Happy New You!
Its not a question of positioning ourselves for disappointment or setting our goals out of reach, rather the lack of a constant reminder that renders us unsuccessful. We often find that January is the most hectic month for this reason. Our promises are fresh on our mind as we pursue our personal victories. The spin classes are overcrowded, sales for non-smoking aids spike as gambling and consumption of alcohol wane. I would like to tell you these trends continue throughout the year but I don’t want to lie to you. It seems that a meeting always pops up or its parent teacher conference or next week’s deadline got pushed up to tomorrow so we re-prioritize and our resolutions slide further down the “To-Do” list. We justify this with one phrase, life happens.
We trick ourselves into thinking its okay since we have the whole year to achieve our goals. It shouldn’t be that hard. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day I’ll get back on track. Sounds good enough, we mean well. Just one problem with that. There are 364 tomorrows in a year. 364 chances to either attack your goal or let it slip away. So how do we end this cycle of complaisant behavior?
I believe it was Coach Wooden who said “failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” You wouldn’t go to a sales meeting without numbers from the previous quarter the same way your kid’s teacher wouldn’t go into the classroom without a lesson plan for that week, month or even semester. We don’t value our personal lives any less than our professional lives but we seem to be a bit more organized in the latter. Well, let’s do something radical. I suggest we blur that line, bring our work organization into our everyday lives. We’ll keep the New Year’s Resolutions as big picture but break it down to weekly goals. This will keep things fresh and constantly on the forefront of your minds and almost guarantees that you’ll crush your resolution. If you aim to finish one book by the end of the year, break it down to a chapter a week. Unless the book is 53 chapters you’ll accomplish the goal. You resolve to eat better? Simply add two more servings of veggies a day. How about the gym? Instead of shooting for a loss of 10 lbs see if you can make it in at least 2 days a week.
There’s no need to intimidate yourself with a task that takes a year to conquer, instead motivate yourself with weekly or daily check points. Stick to a simple plan and always tell yourself to “make the effort.” New Year’s resolutions aren’t supposed to be chores with a deadline that prove to be embarrassments rather a positive journey with one final outcome, you feeling good about you! Happy New Year, Happy New You!
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